Addiction is a progressive narrowing of the things that bring you pleasure. Happiness is a progressive expansion of the things that bring you pleasure. The former emerges passively. The latter takes work.

Andrew Huberman

We are all addicted to our phones. The research is clear and resounding. The phone’s presence causes stress, as we anxiously await the next alert, notification, or message. Its absence, at first, leads to a form of withdrawal.

The magic of the phone is how fast it delivers dopamine to our brains. In an instant, we can experience the benefits of this neurotransmitter delivering ‘feels-good’ feels to our brains.

For most, we are quick to point to the negative effects of phones on our kids. (Turning the same cautious eye to our own technology usage is a different proposition.)

As a parent, we want our children to put the phone aside to experience the real world.

The problem is that with a phone, the enjoyment comes quickly – but tends not to last. When do you ever reminisce on a particularly memorable session of social media scrolling? Phone time exists in a perpetual limbo. It delivers something in the moment, but with almost zero long-term effects. 

The real world has a dopamine hill to climb. It may involve boredom at first. This is followed by effort to create, engage, and do. Over time, as you interact in the moment and explore, you experience pleasure and joy. Occasionally, you may experience beauty and even transcendence. 

It is like working out. I almost never begin a session in the gym excited to be there. The warmup and first sets get my interest and excitement going. It awakens my mind and body to the challenge and opportunity. Despite an uncertain beginning, I never leave the gym regretting having come. 

We all must grapple with this tension between immediate and unsatisfying, and the slower but satisfying. As Huberman suggests though, the long-term effect of doing so is an expansion of things that bring happiness.